Alix Reads Too Much

Hmmm…

February 8, 2010 · Leave a Comment

So between this, Leah McLaren’s Saturday Globe and Mail column about how current twentysomethings are the hardest hit by the recession, (yeah, I won’t be getting a real job until I’m 40, even if I want one), and this, Dani Shapiro’s column in the LA Times about how much harder it is for young writers now than it was 20 years ago when she came out of school (yeah, I know, part of it is because I have a bad attitude), and THIS I pretty much have enough reaons to cry myself to sleep every night of the week.

If I was KATE FUCKING GOSSELIN (or Sarah Fucking Palin for that matter), I could get my book published tomorrow with a million dollar advance. Someone talk me down from taking fertility drugs and getting TLC on the phone right this effing second.

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More invaluable life lessons gleaned from an inane pop song…

February 8, 2010 · Leave a Comment

Beauty is where you find it; not just where you bump and grind it.

Madonna looked good back in the day. I forgot how hot she used to be.

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What Obama should be saying to the GOP:

February 7, 2010 · Leave a Comment

In the immortal words of En Vogue:

I can’t change your mind; you can’t change my colour.

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Sometimes we forget…

February 5, 2010 · Leave a Comment

where it all comes from. Tell me if you can find a riff in this number that DIDN’T show up again in the 90s? Not everyone would think 90s right away, but that’s all I kept hearing – Soundgarden, early-Smashing Pumpkins, even some of those Pearl Jam riffs, and a little bit of Rage Against the Machine.

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Pink says it best…

February 1, 2010 · Leave a Comment

I would say that no one ever has another excuse to lip sync.

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I knew this bra fitting thing was a scam…

January 28, 2010 · 1 Comment

They tell you you’re a 34 quadruple M so that you have to buy a $200 bra, instead of the $30 36D one. My friends have been swearing by this for awhile now, but it always sounded like a bunch of snake oil to me.  Kate Harding explains why:

Did you know that something like 85 percent of women are wearing the wrong size bra? Yes, you probably did, because Oprah and women’s magazines and makeover reality shows and even mainstream newspapers have all been beating that drum for years. Like getting dressed and eating food, choosing a bra has become something only the foolish attempt without expert supervision. Browse the Target lingerie section at your peril, ladies; the only way to be sure you’re not unwittingly looking 10 pounds fatter and possibly setting yourself up for permanent back problems is to go to a specialty store where nothing costs less than $50, invite a stranger to fondle your breasts, and take her word for what size you really are. Even if, as the Telegraph has recently reported, that specialty-store employee has no idea either.

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Am I too cynical?

January 28, 2010 · Leave a Comment

I didn’t watch the State of the Union address last night, but I heard that Obama wants to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Is it wrong that I think he’s doing this only to build political capital with the gays so he can screw them over in some other way next week or next month or next year? Like, here’s a crumb of hope, but hey, then I’m shipping you off to Rush Limbaugh’s house for the public floggings?

Oh to be young and idealistic again…

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Second of all…

January 27, 2010 · Leave a Comment

It’s not even fair that Ta-nehisi gets to be awesome at writing about music too. On soul duo Sam and Dave:

Much like watching Sam Cooke doing Bob Dylan, you get some sense of the other, less tangible forces, that in modern times have laid siege to the tower of institutional white supremacy.

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Shall I put on my apocalypse boots now or later?

January 27, 2010 · Leave a Comment

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How I try to start…

January 27, 2010 · 2 Comments

What I do when I can’t write. Here’s a little piece of junk essay about how it feels to not get started:

I don’t want to write a story about lonely people sitting in rooms doing menial jobs. And I don’t want to write about magic. And I don’t want to write about disaffected youth (okay maybe that’s a lie).

And I don’t want to write about Paris now, because the snob in me feels like it would be typical and douchey. But I would’ve wanted to write about it when I was seventeen. And I did. Wrote a bunch of bad poems and maybe one half decent one. Is it the wrong instinct – to Douche Police censor myself? So what if you’re in your mid-twenties and want to write about Paris? Am I going to mock you? Should you write about Omaha or Knoxville, Tennessee instead? This is not supposed to be a travel essay on Paris, but what is it supposed to be? Why don’t I want to look at my photo albums and reminisce over the old pictures and remember what it was like to take pictures with a film camera. 26 pictures and then pop the door open and load a new little spool. Do I miss that? Will the world continue existing for the people who want to shoot on film? The grandmothers (like mine) with their disposables and the art students with their vintage SLRs and big lenses?

Okay so maybe I’ll take a trip to Omaha and write about some white picket fences instead. Too bad David Foster Wallace did it first and did it better, right after 9/11 no less. And they say that Flannery O’Connor never strayed too far from her hometown. She still wrote, some would say brilliantly, but I wouldn’t. What about Paris is not capturing my imagination? I like remembering the riots there, the sixteen or so nights filled with burning cars in the Parisian suburbs. Race and immigration tensions and troubles, that line of thinking I can follow until the cows come home. But romance? Travelogue? Architecture, even? Not following. Not sweeping enough in my head. Boredom creeps in, which is crazy, but also true. Maybe I don’t need it to be exciting. I would say something equally douchey and say ‘I just need it to be real’ but that wouldn’t get me anywhere either. Plus, it would also be a lie.

A lot of people can disappear into it and disappear well.

Now that’s a line to start with:

→ 2 CommentsCategories: Writing

Smart smart smart…

January 27, 2010 · Leave a Comment

Bill Ivey, the former Chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts started an interesting debate at Artsjournal.com a news aggregate/blogging site about the arts and culture. It’s a daily must-read. I really like where Ivey is going with this:

Doug worries that if we take on any policy issues other than those that directly affect our core constituency — nonprofit arts organizations and artists who work mostly in that world — we’ll be out of our depth and get things wrong, unable to choose sides responsibly.

True, there are some ambiguous situations that arise, but many issues are pretty clear, especially if we always ask, “Will policy x enhance the expressive lives of individuals and communities by making heritage and the tools of creativity more available, or will the policy increase costs, erect barriers, or limit access?”  After all, we are as smart as leaders in any field, and little of this is rocket science: create low-power FM outlets in urban areas, almost certainly a good thing; allow one company to own 10% of all radio stations; probably bad (as the Clear Channel experiment demonstrated); abandon Net Neutrality to allow advertisers to steer online searches; almost certainly bad.  Yes, there are some really thorny issues (Google Books is one) but I absolutely believe that the conversation around these issues will be better if the smart folks who have mostly thought about museum attendance and foundation funding turn their attention to a wider set of issues.  If we don’t, the part of the arts scene that we know best will end up as roadkill smashed flat as public policy speeds along the highway to market hegemony.

Now I’m not a conspiracy theorist (really; I’m not) but if I were it would be easy to frame the entire nonprofit arts scene as a plot to keep smart arts people from ever thinking about things like copyright, union agreements, media ownership, or mergers in the recording, film, and television, or live performance industries. They give the NEA an extra ten million some years, and it’s all “high-fives;” the next year they take it away, and we spend thousands on seminars to help us cope with the funding crisis.  All the while, bigger forces are quietly tying up the Internet, expanding the footprint of IP, while allowing heritage assets to be locked up in the vaults of a few merged media giants.  The nonprofit scene can be viewed as a medium-sized sandbox in which arts people are asked to play for a pittance while mainstream policy actors use legislation, legal interpretation, and regulation to expand controlled revenue streams.

But I’m not, just not, a conspiracy theorist…

He’s absolutely right. It’s something I’ve often worried about, me who has pretty much consistently worked in the cultural and nonprofit sector all my working life. What if it is a sandbox, or better yet, a pink collar ghetto? (Or a white liberal guilt ghetto for that matter? I do feel like there’s a certain expectation or lack of one that people who are bright in the nonprofit culture sector can’t be thrown in with the sharks everywhere else. “Well, they’re smart but they’re not smart smart.” Obviously Bill Ivey is smart smart, and so are a lot of people I’ve worked with in my life. The artsjournal thread is exploring whether people are ghettoizing themselves, in this case, maybe thinking that they’re not so smart after all. I’m glad Ivey is calling them out…

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The reading list…

January 26, 2010 · Leave a Comment

For the near future at least.

Right now, I’m reading My Paper Chase by Harold Evans, who was the former editor of pretty much every newspaper in England and New York City.  It’s amazing… quite a ride. He’s basically had a hand in every major story in England over a fifty year period. He’s fairly self-congratulatory about it, but it makes for an amazing read. Plus, I would be pretty fucking big on myself too if I had his resume.

Next: Life as Politics: How ordinary people change the Middle East by Asef Bayat, one of the first books to realize that all poor people in the Middle East aren’t frothing-at-the-mouth terrorists. They’re just regular people and they hate suicide bombers too.

Next: The Beautiful Struggle by none other than my living writing hero Ta-nehisi Coates. I can’t even tell you how excited I am to read this. If it’s even half as subtle, beautiful and resoundingly smart as his blog, I’ll be blown away.

Next: I.O.U.: Why Everyone Owes Everyone and No One Can Pay by John Lanchester. Apparently this is the book equivalent of the This American Life episode The Giant Pool of Money, which, if you haven’t listened to, you absolutely MUST MUST MUST!!! It explains the economic crisis in a way that A) you can understand and B) doesn’t bore you to death and C) actually entertains and evokes an emotional response in a much more subtle way than BAH A MILLION PEOPLE ARE GOING TO LOSE THEIR HOUSES BAH!!!!!!

Oh my god, everybody. They’re all nonfiction books. And not a chick memoir among them (I’m looking at you, Elizabeth Gilbert and your half-assed follow up to the cash cow known as Eat Pray Love. Fucking phoned it in, no doubt).

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Common sense prevails!

January 25, 2010 · Leave a Comment

I came across not one but two blazingly intelligent articles Friday morning, both from Salon.com. These two articles are loaded with common sense and are the kind of pieces I wish more people would write. The first one was written by Patrick Smith, the airline pilot who writes the column Ask the Pilot biweekly. I can’t say enough about this series, but this week’s article is particularly impressive.  He writes about the security theatre at airports, a topic that has been addressed before, but never this intelligently. I’m a big fan. Read it:

This country needs to get a grip. We need a slap in the face, a splash of cold water.

On Saturday, 57-year-old Jules Paul Bouloute opened an emergency exit inside the American Airlines terminal at Kennedy airport. Alarms blared and sirens flashed. Bouloute later told police that he’d opened the door by accident.

Which is what you’d assume. Sure, the exit was clearly marked, but it happens all the time, does it not? In office buildings, shopping malls, hospitals and airports, well-intended people become distracted and pass through restricted doorways. And you would think our airport security force would keep this in mind and react accordingly, and not with the assumption that every errant traveler is a terrorist poised for mass murder. To the contrary, why in the world would an attacker go around setting off alarms and drawing attention to himself?

Unfortunately, this is America 2010, and the response at JFK was neither rational nor surprising. All of Terminal 8 was evacuated for more than two hours. Police then swept through the building with dogs and SWAT teams (because, you see, a terrorist wouldn’t quietly drop an explosive device into a trash barrel; he would first set off alarms, in order to…?). Before being allowed back in, thousands of travelers were forced to undergo rescreening at the Transportation Security Administration checkpoints, giving guards a chance to snag any butter knives or 4-ounce shampoo bottles they might have missed the first time. Inbound planes were stranded on the tarmac and departures were delayed for several hours.

Mind you, this was the third incident at New York airports in recent weeks in which transgressions resulted in chaos and evacuations.

Bouloute, who had just come from Haiti, of all places, was arraigned on charges of first-degree criminal tampering and third-degree criminal trespass. He faces up to seven years in prison. I can’t imagine he’ll actually be convicted, but the mere fact that we’re going through the motions is disheartening and embarrassing enough.

But what shocks me the most is that throughout all the coverage of the incident, including numerous interviews with ticked-off passengers and somber-voiced officials, not once has anybody raised the point that maybe — just maybe — we overreacted. Everyone, instead, is eager to blame Bouloute.

What has become of us? Are we really in such a confused and panicked state that a person haplessly walking through the wrong door can disrupt air travel nationwide, resulting in mass evacuations and long delays? “The terrorists have won” is one of those waggish catch-alls that normally annoy me, but all too often it seems that way. Our reactionary, self-defeating behavior has put much at stake — our time, our tax dollars and our liberties.

I say “unforgettable,” but that’s just the thing. How many Americans remember Flight 847? How many remember the Karachi murders? It’s astonishing how short our memories are. And partly because they’re so short, we are easily frightened and manipulated.

Here in this proclaimed new “age of terrorism,” we act as if the clock began ticking on Sept. 11, 2001. In truth we’ve been dealing with this stuff for decades. Not only in the 1980s, but throughout the ’60s and ’70s as well. Acts of piracy and sabotage are far fewer today. Imagine the Karachi attack happening tomorrow. Imagine TWA 847 happening tomorrow. Imagine six successful terror attacks against commercial aviation in a five-year span. The airline industry would be paralyzed, the populace frozen in abject fear. It would be a catastrophe of epic proportion — of wall-to-wall coverage and, dare I suggest, the summary surrender of important civil liberties.

What is it about us, as a nation, that has made us so unable to remember, and unable to cope?

I’ve rarely heard it asked this succinctly in any article or publication. The “unable to remember” part hits the nail on the head, for this surely is the flaw that is letting every talking head bozo give Bush and Cheney a free pass on things like torture, things that happened within the last ten years, yet are conveniently forgotten.

The second article “When the media is the disaster” by Rebecca Solnit tears a new one into the media for its ridiculous and irresponsible coverage of disasters. Her writing style may be a bit over the top but the point she makes is dead on:

Soon after almost every disaster the crimes begin: ruthless, selfish, indifferent to human suffering, and generating far more suffering. The perpetrators go unpunished and live to commit further crimes against humanity. They care less for human life than for property. They act without regard for consequences.

I’m talking, of course, about those members of the mass media whose misrepresentation of what goes on in disaster often abets and justifies a second wave of disaster. I’m talking about the treatment of sufferers as criminals, both on the ground and in the news, and the endorsement of a shift of resources from rescue to property patrol. They still have blood on their hands from Hurricane Katrina, and they are staining themselves anew in Haiti.

She goes on to talk about the use of the word “looting” and its effects on what is actually happening in disaster zones. A little polemical maybe, but she’s ultimately right when she says:

And what is absolutely accurate, in Haiti right now, and on Earth always, is that human life matters more than property, that the survivors of a catastrophe deserve our compassion and our understanding of their plight, and that we live and die by words and ideas, and it matters desperately that we get them right.

Both of these writers ask very important questions, perhaps the essential questions about the matters at hand. Why are so few others doing this?  We do live and die by words and ideas and it is crucial that the right questions get asked. They rarely are. We’re losing out almost all the time.Everybody with a brain shits on the media right now, and it is absolutely deserved. The MSM throws common sense out the window, especially in disaster and “security” coverage. Well, actually, in their everything coverage. Cooler heads do not prevail. Ta-nehisi says that Americans get the coverage they deserve. He’s probably right.

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Obama is in the shitbox…

January 21, 2010 · 1 Comment

And how is he going to get out of it? So let me get this straight – he’s done very little other than sell out progressives and pander to the right, and yet he’s losing independent voters because he’s “too progressive.” Will he just pander further to the right now? Or will he say “fuck y’all, you hate me anyway, I’m doing this without you?” And I don’t mean healthcare, because that shit has been dead for a long time. I mean on everything.

It strikes me that if you pander to the right that hates you no matter (cough* because you’re black and “radical” and “socialist” and “fascist” and just all around scary *cough), and you alienate your friends on the left, you’re left with um, no one?

And I haven’t talked about this yet, because frankly, to tell the truth, I don’t really care about Obama that much. I’m slightly disillusioned because I thought he was smarter than he actually is, but other than that, I don’t give it much attention. But I do find it an interesting predicament, the one he finds himself in now… I’m interested/dreading to see how it all turns out.

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As if the silver fox could get any hotter…

January 19, 2010 · 3 Comments

Anderson Cooper saves a Haitian kid caught in the crossfire of looters. Not to trivialize anything, because I know there are lots of people doing a hell of a lot more than the silver fox to help Haitians, but I would like to be my glib bastard self and point out that A) these are pretty incredible photographs and B) what a fox. And yes, I know he’s gay.

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What I’m reading…

January 17, 2010 · Leave a Comment

Jonathan Goldstein takes some creative license with bible stories and boy, do I ever love the results:

Since the garden of Eden was the very first village and since every village needs a mayor as well as a village idiot, it broke down this way: Eve: mayor; Adam: village idiot. Sometimes when Adam would start to speak, Eve would get all hopeful that he was about to impart something important and smart, but he would only say stuff like: ‘Little things are really great because you can put them in your hands as well as in your mouth.’

Eve would often ponder how one minute she was not there or anywhere and now she was. Adam would ponder nothing. When she closed her eyes at night, Eve knew that the blackness was all things at once. In her dream she danced in the tops of trees. Her beautiful thoughts flew out her ears and lit up the sky like fireflies, and there were all kinds of people to talk to and hug. And then she would hear snoring. She would wake up and there would be Adam, his yokel face pressed right up against hers, his dog food breath blowing right up her nostrils.

Eve stared up at the sky. Adam draped his arm across her chest, and brought his knee up onto her stomach. God, watching in Heaven, must have feared for Adam’s broken heart as though the whole universe depended on it.

So good. So so so so so so good. Funny, beautiful, everything you want in a book. Go buy it.

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Lines in a notebook.

January 7, 2010 · 1 Comment

“Cormac McCarthy says his perfect day is sitting in a room with a blank sheet of paper. I wish. I do know that I like a big empty table – like the ones in the library at McGill or the ones in interrogation rooms in cop shows. That kind of pressed composite wood top. Heavy as all get out. Metal legs that I can kick in frustation, just hard enough to hurt my toes.”

-November-ish, 2009

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Jesus Christ, so much text, we need a picture of a baby animal IMMEDIATELY!

January 7, 2010 · Leave a Comment

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Predictions…

January 7, 2010 · Leave a Comment

Two rather prescient gems from Richard Nash’s what will happen to publishing in ten years predictions:

7. In 2020 some people will still look back on recent decades as a Golden Age, just as some now look back on the 1950’s as a Golden Age, notwithstanding that the Age was golden largely for white men in tweed jackets who got to edit and review one another and congratulate one another for permitting a few women and the occasional Black man into the club.

8. In 2020 the disaffected twentysomethings of the burgeoning middle classes of India, China, Brazil, Indonesia will be producing novels faster than any of us can possibly imagine.

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Julianna Baggott weighs in…

January 6, 2010 · 1 Comment

Playwright Julia Jordan pointed me toward a recent study about perceptions of male and female playwrights that showed that plays with female protagonists were the most devalued in blind readings. “The exact same play that had a female protagonist was rated far higher when the readers thought it had a male author,” Jordan said. “In fact, one of the questions on the blind survey was about the characters ‘likability,’and the exact same female character, same lines, same pagination, when written by a man was exceeding likable, when written by a woman was deemed extremely unlikable.”

So how do we strip away our prejudice? First, we have to see prejudice. The top prizes’ discrimination against women has been largely ignored. We can’t ignore it any longer. PW hasn’t yet owned up. Neither has the Pulitzer committee — though there’s hope. This year’s Pulitzer for fiction went to a woman (Elizabeth Strout) writing about — of all things — a woman (“Olive Kitteridge”).

What are the best books? The answer is always subjective, and I’m not a literary arbiter. But the message I received from this year’s lists was painfully familiar. It forced me to explain to my students — the next generation of writers — that the men in the class have double if not five times the chance of this kind of recognition. I’ll hand over the statistics and explain that an industry kept afloat by women is sexist. I’ll confess to my own sexism. And I’ll tell them that we have failed, but they don’t have to.

This is, unfortunately all true. And weird. How about that likeability thing? What, all women characters are shrews until Tom Stoppard gets his hands on them?

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