Okay, forgive me for this…

but I’m fairly certain that The Situation is 48 years old.

I know, I know. You’re saying, Alix, you should be over Jersey Shore by now. It was so five months ago. Or maybe you’re saying he spends so much goddamn time in a tanning bed of course his face looks like an old beat up shoe.

The Situation alleges to be 28 years old. But here’s what I consider proof that he’s well into his forties. From the producers of the next season of Jersey Shore:

The casting call is looking to find “tanned and toned fist pumper(s)” who know how to “dominate the gym, tear up the dance floor and rule the bedroom.” Applicants must be over 21 but “appear to be younger than 30.”

Executive Casting Director Doron Ofir said:

“I am searching for the proudest, loudest, and wildest to carry on the legacy and no haters allowed.”

So I feel vindicated. The Situation is 48, and Snooki is the same age as my mom.

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